Birthday in Bali

Birthday in Bali

It’s hard to fathom that I reached this age that used to sound ancient and far on the distant horizon. But, as impermanence is an inevitable fact of life, how sweet to celebrate this time here within our little cohesive group of YGs and OGs, enhanced by the warm and welcoming embrace of Bali.

Bride and groom

The day began with a meditative walk among the rice paddies as the sun appeared from behind the volcano Agung. On my return, I was greeted by the group singing happy birthday to me. After breakfast we wrapped ourselves in our finest sarongs and sashes to go to the wedding of the grandniece of Nonick, the wife of our puppet teacher…the couple that will be in Santa Fe at the Folk Art Market in July.  

The wedding is a two or three day ceremony. We arrived on the last day of the ceremony when the priest performs the Hindu ceremony. The central pavilion in the family courtyard is piled high with food. We were told that the abundance of food and decorations and offerings are to help make the bride feel welcome when she leaves her family and moves into the home of her husband’s family. But, first, as part of the wedding ceremony, she must return to her home to say good-bye to the spirits of her ancestors. 

The bride and groom were dressed in ceremonial clothing with ornate, golden headdresses. The bride is sixteen and the groom nineteen. Nonick said the marriage was an “MBA”---marriage by accident. I looked more closely and could see that the bride was probably completing her first trimester of pregnancy. Nonick said people in Bali do not get abortions because it causes bad karma and that there is no shame in getting married while obviously pregnant.  She added that divorce is rare in Bali. 

Bride and groom getting ready to go before the priest

Father of the groom

relatives of the groom                                                                   

Nonick, the great aunt of the bride. She'll be soon in Santa Fe

The part of the wedding that I found most fascinating were the rituals in front of the priest which symbolized the roles that men and women take in their marriage. The groom handed the bride a large string of coins that resembled money. The bride handed her new husband some carefully folded linens and towels. Then the husband was given a hoe to move the dirt a bit, followed by a couple of rice seedlings to make like he was planting in the fields. A spinning wheel was brought to the young bride which she sat next to and made gestures as though she was spinning cotton. As you might guess from this description, the roles of men and women in Bali are clearly defined. 

 

The picture on the left is of Marina, nicknamed "Mahde" which means second-born in Indonesia. She is Native American from Cochiti Pueblo. Everyone here thinks she is Balinese. On the right is a picture of Gaylon and Zinnia at the wedding. They are the reason the Bali Art Project exists. They are doing an amazing job with the kids, gently guiding them along in their cross-cultural immersion experience.

After the wedding, we all went to our favorite spot for lunch. While the kids headed off to their afternoon classes of puppet making and painting, I played hooky and headed off to receive my generous birthday present from Steve Simon, the philanthropist who is on this trip to see how he can help the Bali Art Project continue after Gaylon and Zinnia eventually no longer have the energy to continue taking students to Bali.

You might have already guessed what the present was---an afternoon at Nur’s Spa, the place where we all went on our second day in Bali. It was total bliss, as you might imagine. It took the sting out of becoming 65 when the masseuse asked me in Indonesian, “How old are you? Fifty?” But then I discovered that Steve’s wife, Kate, whose birthday is the 15^th of June, was asked the same question. She’s older than I am. 

Entrance to the best spa in Ubud

Inside the spa

Inside this most unusual spa

When we got home, Kate, Steve, and I continued to luxuriate in the pool at our bungalows in the lovely, chlorine free, cool water, surrounded by lime trees, coconut palms, and banana plants.  Later, we were all treated to dinner at one of the most elegant restaurants in town---not exactly part of a tight budget, obviously another very generous gift. Gaylon and Zinnia knew the owner, Wayon, from the early 1980’s when he had a soup stand on Monkey Forest Road near the soccer field. He sold a couple of rice paddies so they could be developed into tourist lodging and made a fortune by Bali standards, enough to open this high end restaurant—the kind of place that attracts westerners on their honeymoon. The food was delicious. At the end of the meal, out came a troupe of Balinese men in traditional garb, singing happy birthday in Balinese, carrying a fancy birthday cake.  At that point the students stood up and sang happy birthday in Indonesian, “Selamat hari ulang tahun.” They had been practicing during the day when I wasn’t around. As the evening closed, I was handed a card with a picture on the front of Ganesh, the elephant god of healing and auspicious beginnings, in which each person, OGs and YGs, had written some very kind words, along with a little wooden Buddha that the YGs had bought with their meager budget.

Students singing Happy birthday in Indonesian

Birthday in Bali

And I heard from Santa Fe readers that it rained finally. What a great present to us all.

What a day!! I’m a lucky girl.